by Matt Weik
I'm not the brightest lightbulb out there, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. Let me make this clear. Businesses are forced to close their doors (against their will) to slow the spread of the coronavirus (COVID-19). The governors are out there telling everyone that all nonessential companies should lock their doors and shut down for the time being. But guess what's open. The liquor store. This is no joke. In the meantime, they closed the gyms because of all this mess.
Again, it's pretty easy to pull one over me, but even that made me scratch my head. Like in the beanbag, gyms are closed, but liquor stores are open? What makes liquor stores “indispensable stores” where they can remain open? Does the government think we're all a bunch of alcoholics? (Don't answer) But seriously, what the hell is going on here? Even when the gyms are closed, the governors tell people that they can't even exercise outside. What does that have to do with anything? You can practice social distancing while still exercising outdoors.
For most people out there, it's no big deal to hear that gyms are closed. They're fat, lazy, and had no intention of lifting a finger during the lockdown anyway – for them it's a party. On the other hand, we have people who care about their health who are constantly exercising to strengthen immunity and improve their overall health, which are punished. I think skipping the gym and starting drinking is the solution?
Who is ready to meet wild Turkey today?
No, it's not a crazy CrossFit WOD, I'm talking about bourbon whiskey. Ok, that's a joke. Let's get serious for a second (but only for a second). What is the essential or life-sustaining part of a liqueur like Wild Turkey? If I'm not supposed to sit down with a nice three-finger pour of my favorite schnapps at work, why is it important enough that the liquor stores are open? Should alcohol help boost immunity?
Of course, people out there buy grain alcohol and vodka and think it would be better than washing their hands. All you have to do is waste perfectly good alcohol. Seriously, if you haven't tried the new Jameson Cold Brew yet, miss it. Ok, back to the topic.
Do you realize how stupid that is?
Sure, people who are upset that the governor-enforced gyms have closed down are training at home – we're not lazy like some people who still make excuses about why they can't train. Maybe some of those people who are still exercising have free weights in the basement, some resistance bands, or just use their own body weight as resistance. Regardless, they get it in, even though the deck was stacked against them.
Now I want to switch easily and get involved in something more serious – ok, much more serious. And what happens when people have nothing better to do than drink alcohol at a time like this?
If you are locked up in your house there is not much you can do as everything is closed and you start drinking just to pass the time. This can lead to people getting drunk. And what do drunks do? Dumb things. Hold my Beer. I would therefore like the government to inform me why this is a good idea. Let's have a virus that spreads like wildfire around the world, and then imprison people in their homes and promote alcohol sales by keeping liquor stores open.
What's the worst thing that can happen? Let's discuss the many stupid and deadly things that can happen. At the moment everyone is at home – many of them are not paid because their employer has also closed and does not have the means to continue to pay employees (e.g. small businesses across the country). When people are broke and worried about paying bills, putting food on the table, and caring for their family, they can take drastic measures. Add to the stress of what's going on with these drastic measures, and violence can occur.
People want what they don't have, and if they know someone else has it, they'll get it if it means survival. What causes this Riots. Riots. Fight on the streets. We should all be lucky that the time has not come yet. But if things remain closed and shops remain closed, schools remain closed and everyone is confined to their home, it is not out of the question that things will not appear. And many police officers have stated that they will not respond to theft calls or the like unless it is life-threatening because they do not run the risk of getting infected with the corona virus.
Add that to people who have had a hard time before the corona virus, and things can quickly get out of control due to domestic violence and even suicide. Listen, I'm not saying this to promote destruction, chaos, or to give people the idea of killing themselves. What I'm going to do is have gyms closed, but liquor stores open, as stupid as stupid.
I hope we have everything under control. I hope that the gyms can be reopened and that we can all go back to normal life, which is about improving ourselves, our minds, our bodies and our communities. The fact is, however, that I feel like the government only keeps certain places open because they know they can make a lot of money from them – while they're still getting paid while all of this is going on. And shame on them that they took advantage of such a situation. It doesn't matter that people do sports, stay healthy and want to strengthen their immunity. Let's just all stay at home, Netflix and Chill, while throwing back some alcohol to drink away all of our worries. Idiots.