by Matt Weik
Now I know that all the marketing gurus and purists will step in here and tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about and that Bang Energy's marketing strategy is pure brilliance. But I'm sorry, the only thing I want to "hit" is my head against the wall when I see another stupid piece of merch being launched or advertised.
Note: This article is slightly satirical. If you're not ready to have a few laughs, don't read this and move on.
Frankly, the merch that Bang Energy comes out with is absolutely terrifying. So much so that I would literally kick my ass if I used any of it, let alone make a video or Instagram post to support it. I don't care how much money you throw at me. But all of these influencers are bought up and ultimately sell their souls to be a walking, talking billboard to make money quickly. THAT is what the industry came up with? Do people have to look foolish on purpose just to make money? Come on man, does everyone drink the Kool-Aid these days?
But wait! There is more!
Look, I love some bang energy drinks, but marketing isn't what makes me a top – it's the taste and the caffeine content. But every time I see Bang Energy bring out a ridiculous piece of merch, it's like bad advertising saying, "But wait, there's more!" You can even ask DJ Khaled to say "someone else".
I mean, honestly, does anyone buy this stuff or do we only see it on fitness influencer Instagram pages and YouTube videos? I have never seen a person who is a personal friend of mine in the industry and legally advertises or buys the Bang Energy Merch because they think it is cool.
After going to the Bang Energy website, I was even more excited. In terms of accessories, there are over 49 items available, some of which we're going to have a little fun with at the moment.
I am talking about towels (to clean up after yourself), umbrellas (because your future is so bright), pens (for the important contracts you have to sign), bags (to insert your school books), cups (for beer pong), Stickers (to put your laptop lid in your Bang Energy laptop bag), resistance bands (work on those glutes), phone handles (so you can take your Bang Energy selfies in public places), lunch boxes (because I'm probably still in school), bracelets (be real, you don't have a weak wrist of all this …), a teddy bear (because you sleep alone – hence your strong wrists), cooler (to keep your beer cold during spring break), glow sticks (for the ravers out there) and best of all … a Bang Energy belt bag (why not?).
But wait! We haven't even talked about clothing! Colorful tops and bottoms that look like they came from the 1960s when people were smoking weeds. With over 140 different items, you can buy one of everything and don't have to wash for months. Oh, and I don't think I'll sneak past without talking about the Bang Energy shoes. I mean, if you don't hang, you don't pop. And if you get caught dead in these shoes, trust me, you won't hit anything.
But seriously, why? I mean dead serious. Why should someone (who is not paid by the company) want to own or own something from Bang Energy? If they had simple t-shirts, I could actually see people wearing them. But the stuff they have on their website is a little strange. I understand the fact that Bang Energy is one of the largest energy drink brands today, but I don't see people walking around in a neon rainbow-colored Monster Energy overalls or dance shorts with a damn unicorn. So why would anyone wear the things Bang says on?
Again I have already written down a list of people that I will tick next to their names if they interfere: "Matt, you are an idiot … you just don't understand … you clearly have no idea about marketing a company. "Ok Steve, slow down your role. Before you put on your fresh pair of Yeezy & # 39; s and your Smedium tank top to pump your fist on the beach as if you were in the Jersey Shore cast, let's clarify something – nobody buys this stuff except maybe the 17 year old boy who wants to look cool or the 14 year old girl who wants to be the next Bang Energy model.
I have to get a can of Bang Energy to cool off. I literally sweat as I write this because it fueled me.
OK, let's put all the jokes aside
After reading all of the above, there is still someone laughing. And that one person is Jack Owoc. In fact, he laughs up to the bank. The guy is expanding the brand by 699% and, according to IRI data, has sales of over $ 687 million. I mean, punch my ass and call myself Suzan, that's impressive. Let's not forget that Jack goes from head to toe with Coca-Cola / Reign in court and fights for the use of the name "Reign". Who else would ever want to fight a monster like Coca-Cola?
I can't knock on the guy. When I got into the supplement game, VPX was a hot player and I drank their Redline RTDs religiously. And while it turned out to be enormous, Jack has rediscovered his groove with Bang Energy.
If we talk about HUGE acquisitions in the industry like Quest Nutrition's billion dollar deal or some of the other brands that sold for millions of dollars in 2019, Jack will get a huge payday if he chooses to leave Bang Energy. And good for him. I'm serious when I say that the man earns every penny he gets from selling Bang Energy. He did something that very few in the room could do.
Okay, let's close that. Although this article should convey some humor, I honestly think that Bang Energy's marketing is unusually uncomfortable. But do you know what makes marketing very good? We all talk more about the brand – I think it works!